Thomas Mullen lives a deceptively quiet life not far from downtown Atlanta. While S.U.V.s drive by and dogs bark and the locals suspect not a thing, he commits murders, spins wildly convoluted conspiracy theories, travels through time, reinvents the past, resurrects the dead, falls in love with women of his own invention, imperils young children, unleashes plagues, wages war, saves lives, dangles participles, and invents new metaphors. Most of his sentences contain verbs.

Or, if you're looking for a more official-sounding bio, try this:

Thomas Mullen is the author of The Last Town on Earth–which was named Best Debut Novel of 2006 by USA Today and was awarded the James Fenimore Cooper Prize for excellence in historical fiction–The Many Deaths of the Firefly Brothers, The Revisionists, and, his new novel, Darktown.

His works have been named to Year’s Best lists by The Chicago Tribune, USA Today, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Onion’s A/V Club, The San Diego Union-Times, Paste Magazine, The Cleveland Plain-Dealer, and Amazon. His stories and essays have been published in GrantlandPaste, The Huffington Post, and Atlanta Magazine. He lives in Atlanta with his wife and sons.

And because he is also the person writing this, he's now going to switch to first-person narration:

Hi! Thanks for visiting my site. I love my job, and my readers. Seriously, thank you so much.

Looking for book recommendations? The best books I read in 2015 were, in fiction, The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell, The Maid's Version by Daniel Woodrell, The Last Policeman and Countdown City by Ben H. Winters, The Whites by Richard Price, I Hate To See That Evening Sun Go Down by William Gay, Redeployment by Phil Klay, and, in nonfiction, Devil in the Grove by Gilbert King and Parting the Waters: America in the King Years by Taylor Branch.